Archive for the Uncategorized Category

I awaken from my slumber.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on 01/10/2010 by Titus

As the seas begin to part, a form that is of a malevolent force that is from which man once peered eyes upon glistens into the same said eyes. A crimson wave of water washes unto the port. A giant claw rises out from behind the wave and crashes down onto the street. A giant beast from an era of creatures unknown emerges from the sea, it smashes a small bus full of children and chews on it then hocks it up. Soon it’s eyes begin to bleed, it cries out in pain. Soon it slumps over and crashes into the port. Movement can be heard within. I begin to climb my way out of the beast. It appears that I’ve been away too long and my submarine has been eaten by the beast. Good thing for me I’ve got immunities.
Hello, Titus is back for more blogging and more crazy shit and more in general crap. I have two reviews ready and possibly a third if I can get the time to do so. Im ready for more lists and more videos of the weeks and weekends. I hope I can get more readers and more acknowledgments over the web. I want to offer my readers more insight on my madness. As of a few hours from now There will be a review and the next day another review. The Devious of Titus is back!

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MY final post, this time I mean it!

Posted in Uncategorized on 12/06/2009 by Titus

You may read this and think. “Aw shit he done blogging for life.” or “God damn it SHUT The FUCK UP!!!”. If your going for the first one then oyur wrong and if you choose the second one well your partly right and partly a knob-goblin. Im done for the Year, not my entire life. Iwanted to do a review for Modern Warfare2 or Assassin’s Creed2, but I dont have free time for that shit, Doing Left 4 Dead 2  was to me a great way of finishing off the year. Next Year Ill be back with a bunch of random shit and maybe Ill actually have some more fun with this blog. Just one last question. Remeber those “choose your own path” books? Did ya like ’em? Or would ya just care for a story? Leave me a comment.
I know that I wanted to make this year goodbye short, but so much to say. I also want to say that you should except me to return wither the first or the second week of January. Until then Ill be writting and planning. So until my return keep those Stray-Jackets on and make them tight. Insanity is just a month away. Goodbye and Goodnight.

Video of the week

Posted in Uncategorized on 11/23/2009 by Titus

This video Is long, but totally worth it by the end of it. If this was a real movie I would watch it, even if it would take 9 hours to finish. I mean isn’t the godfather trilogy like 80 hours long?

IT’S ALIVE!!! IT’S ALIVE!!!!

Posted in Uncategorized on 11/18/2009 by Titus

I have gotten bored with just one Blog and decided to have another blog on another blog supporting site. Blogger.com. With me moderating two blogson two different sites this gives me something to do and with this I must say that my comb. blog with Kyle is over since we both have way too much to do and not enough time to give a crap about it. The other blog is just Devious Titus on another site. Nothing new nothing big. Since WordPress seems to be filled with nobody reading this blog I simply took it into my own hands and duplicated this blog and pasted it on the other. Hopefully my work gets more views and become recoginzable to the public I eye.

The Top 5 movie plots that could have been solved with in minutes.

Posted in Cartoons, dead folk, Lectures, Movies, news, Old memories, Uncategorized with tags , , , on 11/14/2009 by Titus

Movies are the shit. If it weren’t for movies we would be bored as hell. We’d only be able to write books, read books, watch tv, play video games and have nothing to take a date to. But as much as I love movie there are some that are just horseshit stupid. Like plots that even a monkey addicted to smack and speed could figure out. So in honor of the new disaster movie, 2012,  this is my list of movie plots that could have been solved in seconds!

5. Never Back Downcrap

Plot: Jake leaves his school with his older brother to go live with their widowed mother. At the new school he gains a rep. because he went apeshit on another football player from the opposite team. A hot chick invites him to a party where there are a bunch of guys are kicking boxing. Soon Jake goes into the ring and gets his ass handed to him. The hot chick is digusted at her boyfriend, Ryan, who continously beats the every living shit out of Jake.

The hot chick breaks up with her boyfriend, he goes crazy and hurts her via hard grip to the arm. He says something about her weak father, Jake gets angered because his dad killed himself by drinking and driving. Ryan makes threats towards Jake and hot chick.Later Jake gets taught martial arts by Mr.Echo from Lost. He fights Ryan and wins both the girl and the fight. He also wins the top rank of being school popular.

How this could have been solved: Now when your in a fight it’d be a pussy of you to back down and take a civil way. But when you get your ass kicked, threatened and your friend’s ass gets kicked twice. You would have figured a better way of solving this problem. You have literally tons of choices to either avoid future ass kicking or giving the future ass kicking. Now to be civil you could challenge the person to a duel. No. Not Yu gi oh (fucking geek). A duel from the early years of the world. Two people get a weapon of choice, they get a distance the fire upon each other, the winner is decided by who ever lives!

Now there two more options I’d like to mention. The first is to just take thier ass to court and sue the ever living shit out of them. I mean how many accounts of harassment are there that said person has violated? I mean shit you and those who got harassed could get the millions off of the douche.

The other option is simple, do the whole duel thing, but with a twist. Make the person the hunt and you the hunter! I mean it is fair game and there’s nothing like a good hunt. I was gonna say to just blow a hole through the fuckers face.awesome

4.The Day the Earth Stood Still (both).crap2

Plot: An alien saucer lands in Washington. Klaatu and his robot Gort have come from a higher Archy of universal council, which says that if earth does not stop harming itself or in the original get rid of the nukes. Gort  or the council will kill the human race until we’re dead. Klaatu walks out of his ship then BAM! He gets shot be some asshole who thought that he was gonna get probed again.

Klaatu then sneaks away from a hospital, befriends a young boy. Later he meets the boys mother. In the original Klaatu gets shot…again. He is then is raced to the ship which he is then healed. He then leaves earth but with leaving the message of the council. In the remake he sacrifices himself to stop the ship from cleaning the planet of humans and other things. Then the movie ends.

How this could have been solved: Well first off, who gave the damn order to shoot the fucking peaceful alien? Second, if some alien flying around in space sees both movies they’ll get the idea that man kind is just a bunch of trigger happy dumb-shits that enjoy fucking around with aliens that come in peace with a message. I mean shoot, Klaatu didn’t even see the ladies who sell their goods down by the corners. I’m surprised that after all of the shinnangins that he got into he just didn’t show mercy and blow up the planet without double taking while the earth exploded into little space pebbles.

All ya'll can stick this up your ass I'm outta here.

All ya'll can stick this up your ass I'm outta here.

3.Little Shop of Horrors. 01_Little_Shop_of_Horrors

Plot: Seymour buys a plant that appears from the sky and soon it grows and feeds off of blood. Yet as it grows it gains more of a taste for human. Seymour then kills his boss. His love interest’s boyfriend; the dentist. Near the end the plant has a plan of it’s own. Now depending on which version you see either the play or the film it matters because in the play, Seymour and Audrey are eaten by the plant. In the movie Seymour and Audrey manage to kill the plant.

How this could have been solved: Burn it…That’s all I really have to say. If that plant asked for more then a drop of my blood I would have threw that little prick in the fire place or just stomped the hell out of it. I understand that Seymour Really liked the plant and wanted to get Audrey, but to me I would have burned the little monster and then focused on the girl. Killing my boss so that a plant that talks, has teeth and loves the taste of blood would be fun for the entertainment value, but in reality I would have sold that damn plant to Ripley’s holy shit you better believe this or not. I understand that the plant got the shop alot of money flowing in, but when it told Seymour to off his boss just to be fed, Seymor should have just made a make it yourself flamethrower. Home made shit always work, right? Unless your a retard.

2.War of the Worlds. (remake) war_of_the_worlds_ver2

Plot: A normal day turns into a living hell when lighting strikes the ground, but the lighting carries pods that shoot into the ground which from what I can remember those pods go into the war machines of the Martians! Tom Cruise plays a father that tries to make the best for his two kids when the Martians start blast people into dust with thier heat rays.

Martians are jealous of Earth because we’re the closest to the sun and we have a beautiful planet while they have a very shit planet. They invade us, steal people so they can us our blood as food, but WAIT! The Earthly germs of Earth are too deadly for their pansy alien asses. They soon die out and then Morgan Freeman gives a narrating speech on how the Martians died out because of the fucking flu. Also Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning and Justin Chatowin all live.

How it could have been solved: Hmmm germs. Dont we have alot of those guys running around in our air don’t we? There had to be a meeting of scientists that were figuring a way to defeat the aliens. At that meeting there had to be one fellow scientist that said “Hey, do you guys think that using biological warfare against these invader could give us an upper hand? If we send in a person infected with some kind of deadly disease don’t you think that whence said person is being fed upon the disease will kill the Martians?” Then the entire table must have either given him death glares or just burned him at the stake like a witch

witch_JoanArc17-e

You guys suuuuuucccckkkkk!!!

But really there had to be some kind of suggestion that included the words viruses, illness, poison, aliens, bomb, idiot, Tom Cruise, Stephen Spielberg, please, don’t, look, at, me, like, that, NO! and a death scream. I mean shit mankind had biological warfare before the book and the movies were made. Cortez used germs against the Aztecs. H.G. Wells is one of my favorite authors and Steven Spielberg is one of my favorite directors/writters. He could have been a bit smart with the movie and take a different path with the movie. But then again he still did a great job with the movie.

1.Transformers:transformers-poster

Plot: Socially awkward yet cool kid Sam Witwicky gets a car because he has good grades, this car happens to be a transformer which is secretly out to get him so that the Good guys the Autobots can find the Allspark before The Decipticons do and resurrect their glorious leader Megatron! The Autobot team take Sam and Megan Fox for a trip to get the Allspark back, but Bumblebee, Sam and Megan are taken by Section7, a government made sction that specializes in transformers. Soon Megatron gets freed and then a mega million dollar all out fight between the Autobots and Decipticons are held. Autobots win because Sam blows up Megatron with the cube and then the sequel is setted up.

How this could have been solved: Ooooh wow Titus you can’t stop hating on Transformers. You hate because its awesome. Actually I hate because it has everything that idiots like. If you look into a movie for hot chicks, funny black people, Shia Leboof, Millions of dollars spent in making a film, Crappy looking robots and a horrible story then you should shove our head into an outhouse and start drinking the fluids that are in said outhouse. I will admit the movie is cool, but when I do actually look at it from a very good view as in a uniqe view. The movie is just put out there not for the nerds and fans of Transformers but for people to just watch and give Micheal Bay the money to do another shitquel- I’m sorry sequel.

The plot is so stupid and yet so easy to be solved. The Autobots make it so difficult to get the cube that they lose Jazz to Megatron. They could just told Section7 “Hey guys were here again and we need your help. The Decepticons are trying to kill some dipshit that has glasses that lead us to the Allspark. Ummm this might seem like a big favor, but can you guys just tell us where you can find a giant cube? we really dont have enough time sending our good solider to this kid so that he can bang Megan Fox in the back seat. We are being honest when I say that ‘we come in peace’.”.

The autobots could have had this whole problem solved within days and possibley without the help of Shia Leboof. Now don’t get any ideas like I have it out for Micheal Bay’s Tranformers films. It’s just that if you want to make a film that will piss me off, then just make a movie that has a very obvious plot that can be solved with a simple thing called thought then Micheal Bay has done it and it has a sequel and soon to be another sequel. If there is to be some kind of boycott of these movies then I’d gladly join up for it.

Borderlands Review.

Posted in comic, news, Old memories, Uncategorized, Videogame, videogames with tags , , , on 11/01/2009 by Titus

borderlands-box-art

Like what I did up there? (leave comments below.) When you see a demo of Borderlands you will see that it’s a cel-shaded pack of awesome. I knew that the game would be great, but never this great.

After the great intro that gives you a basic back story to what your character looked like before they grew up; images of them as kids looking like the way they are in the future, like a story book. Then it goes into role call, with a great song. The video goes through the people in which whom you can choose to play as

After I popped in the game I thought that the game was just going to be what it is from the beginning. something very predictable and repetitive, but to my surprise it’s far from that. Borderlands takes place on the planet Pandora. The planet is nothing pretty. Infact it’s almost savage and dangerous. And to survive you have to be savage and dangerous like the wildlife and those who in habit the lands. If not known for it’s dangerous wildlife Pandora is known for is the Vault. No not like the one from Fallout. This Vault is better! For those who reach it can have riches, women, power, technology and the power to rule over Pandora. Your character is hunting for said Vault, but your not the only one. An army called The Crimson Lance, borderlands-crimson-lance

which you fight near the end of the game. Now the Vault can be open every 200 hundred years and this is your chance to open it, but only if the Crimson Lance doesn’t get there first. Like every rpg you fight petty, weak enemies that over time gain strength and the difficulty level gets turned up. Now many say that this game is the first in First person role playing games. This is not true. Fallout3 is. But what Fallout 3 lacks Borderlands takes on. Multiplayer, skill resets, thousands of guns, insane amounts of enemies respawning, arenas, Humor, great references, four classes instead of a thousand, special abilities, so on and so forth. Now the humor if the game is great and funny the bosses have these intros that are great for a laugh

The enemies are randomly generated much like the guns in the game. Yet they are still put there so that you still get the ones that you are suppose to get. For instance: You can be fighting skags (alien dogs) when all of a sudden you have to fight a Badass Fire Skag. Shit goes down randomly, but awesome all in the same way. The guns are amazing some guns have elemental powers like acidic, fire, electrical and explosive. You have to stratagetic about what guns you use, what shields you purchase and where in you put your points in your skill tree. Some enemies are resistant against thier own element so be smart about your choices.

Multiplayer is amazing and never gets old. You can join your friends whether they just got started or need help finishing up the final boss. The fun never ends. I always want to play multiplayer so that I can level up and see which achievements I can get through it. If you dont have live or playstation network then there is always split-screen, but that’s never any fun. You can choose from four different classes, but you and your friends can be the same class so in the multiplayer department is lean. When you have your friends join your game the difficulty level jumps up abit, but alone there’s not much of a challenge.

The game has a few kinks to works out, but when you play this game for a couple of days and your addicted like me you dont care or give a rats ass. The comic book styling is great and never gets old. But the pop up isn’t entirely bad. If you have Xbox Live then you’ll get an update that will fix these problems, but if you don’t then your shit out of luck. Things get blurry, but the fix themselves out. There are a few glitches like for example. I was  in an arena, but I only fought one enemy…that was it I was trapped in that arena until I committed suicide.

The game is overlooked and is something that you should buy. The game is a must buy. The game has another feature that allows you to play over again once you beat it, but honestly I wouldn’t have enought time for that when I kicking ass with my friends. Sure many great mainstream games are pouring for the holidays, but this game is something you shouldn’t pass up. Dont rent it unless you have three weeks to rent it for but even so you shouldn’t rent it no matter what. I give this game 5 psychopathic midgets out of 5….oh wait that’s right there’s midgets in the game you can kill…

First comic evar!

Posted in comic, filler, Old memories, Uncategorized, Videogame, videogames with tags , , , , , , on 10/23/2009 by Titus

comic1

Honestly if it wasnt for photoshop I could have never really done this. I know that I actually could have done this quicker and better in illistrator, but the whole photoshop 30 day trail thing was really nice and I might as well us up the days I’ve got left with it. Also, I love both of my consles very much, it’s just my wii I fuckin hate. I just need to do  something really quick and to see if it will work on this blog. And to my surprise it does! Expect more comics. F.Y.I the ps3 is crying because I am playing my xbox instead of it.