Archive for Movies

Avatar Review

Posted in Lectures, Movies, news, Old memories with tags , , , , , on 01/13/2010 by Titus

Over my break I seen just one of THE best movies of all time. James Cameron’s Avatar has been in the works and hyped up to be one hell of a film. Both hype and the wait paid off. With the available CGI and with the enormous amount of money given, James Cameron brought his fantastic imagination to life! Avatar, in a sick way is a furry’s wetdream. And in an awesome way, is a beautiful masterpiece that is up there in the big leagues of movies.

The Titanic was great, I will admit that Cameron did his best on it, But With Avatar…He has made me ignore that fact that it resembles Dances with Wolves and has given me a great movie to never stop watching. With movies now an’ days they’re mostly CGI and of course special effects, a great example is Transformers….which was purely just CGI crap, but with Avatar, just about everything is CGI and it’s been done professionally and beautifully. Everything from the the Marines,Navi and creatures have a certain spirit to them. The creatures are terrifying and interesting. The Navi are huge and some of their women are kinda sexy, but of course they’re suppose to look like that, James Cameron said so…in an interview. When he said that it’ll be in 3d and it will be awesome, he wasn’t shitting us, I felt like I was there in the movie watching this shit happened. Also the movie has a theme to it other than being awesome and a landmark in movie history. It has the theme of preserving wildlife and nature. Also that war is not the answer to everything and that somethings aren’t able to be moved. So that’s an Anti-War and a Nature messages in a movie.

"Hey Im the gardener, where's the tree that needs trimming?"

"Im the gardener, so uhh where's those bushes that need trimming?"

The story goes like this, crippled from waist down ex marine, Jake Sully is asked to take his brother’s place on Pandora, the planet which the story takes place. When he gets there he sees the beauty and enormous size of the machines the humans brought with them and that the Navi aren’t afraid of attacking the machines. He then meets up with Dr. Augustine, who is the leader of the Avatar program. Avatars are both Navi and Human, mixed DNA. Jake and other marines that are signed for the Avatar program are mentally linked to their own Avatars, since their avatars have their DNA.
While on a trip with Dr. Augustine in her Avatar and Norman Spellman, the dorky type that later gets jealous with Jake when he gains the Navi’s trust. Jake soon meet a very pissed off looking tiger/panther/black mamba creature, it chases him, he jumps off a water fall then he walks into the jungle meets these wolves/jackals/leathery dogs that almost kill him, but a Navi warrior, Neytiri, who is hot (dont judge me). He asks her to train him in the ways of the Navi and from then on the movie goes into a deep and great chain of events. The planet’s air is deadly to humans, except the Col. Quaritch, who can somehow can kick down an air lock door, breath the deadly air for a minute and survive. It takes 20 something seconds to become unconscious, and 4 minutes after you’ll die. Also he’s ripped to the max, and he’s 53. I added him to my list of villains that are awesome and hard to kill.

We solute you Colonel.

The 3d will make you forgive the movie for it’s very menial flaws. If you see it in 2d then your really missing out on this spectacle of cinema. Movie CGI has come along way from amazing the audience. I remember when I watched King Kong as a kid and said “Holy shite this is kickass.” then when I watched the remake of Kong I jizzed my pants and said that movie CGI couldn’t get better than this, but I was Wrong. Avatar’s story, CGI, and all the hype and mystery that I had about the movie after a lot of people seen it in Comic-con. A lot of directors take CGI for granted *cough* Micheal Bay*cough* and make a movie that is just lacking the magic that Avatar has. This movie is great and shouldn’t be passed up, it’s something that only happens once in awhile so, take some friends. Take a date, because during the movie there are a lot of scenes that tugged my heartstrings. James Cameron isn’t fucking around anymore, but then again when wasn’t he? From Terminator to Avatar, Cameron has made his mark in the Cinema community and by god he has My vote for president. I give Avatar a 5 out of 5.

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Left 4 Dead 2 Review

Posted in dead folk, holidays, Movies, news, Old memories, Videogame with tags , , , , on 11/30/2009 by Titus

Last year a game was released. Left 4 dead. The wait of the game made many zombie fan’s mouths water with the thirst for zombie killing good. Both Pc and xbox360 owners were given the chance to kill as many zombies as they can. The game was phenomenal and gave Valve the chance to make more decisions with what the fans wanted in the sequal. And Valve didn’t disappoint.

Left 4 dead 2 was made and with it came a game that was to be able to make up for what Left 4 Dead lacked. In the first game, it had four separate stories. No Mercy, Death Toll, Dead air and Blood Harvest. The game had potential. Soon after almost a year, Valve released DLC for the game, to connect No mercy and Death Toll. Before that came a new mode called Survival. This DLC is free, unlike the DLC after it which were to be paid for. The game did great with the competition, but there were one problem I felt with it. It got stale and boring. I couldn’t play it after the multiple times of playing it over and over until I got tremendously bored and went on to play something else. There was almost no stories and the campaigns didn’t connect with each other therefore left me with a boring dull shell of what could be a fun zombie killing game.

Though many fans started a campaign to stop Left 4 Dead 2 from being made into a game and not simply DLC. But Valve just laughed at them and continued onward to making a great game. The game still had competition with Modern Warfare2, Assassin’s creed 2 and many other titles. But to some Left 4 Dead 2 is a great game and is a title that deserves to purchased. Now when I seen many of my friends playing it I was angry that I dont have the money to buy it, well after weeks of saving change and doing chores I bought the the game and here’s my review.

When I played and beat the first game I felt as if there was alot missing and those parts that were missing could be made up for with a  sequal. And they did! Left 4 Dead 2 takes place in the southern states of America. Just like the last game, after the opening credit which gives way for the first campign of the game. The game now gives you 8 melee weapons to slice, dice and general to killdeathmurder the zombies with. And once again, the game has loads of references to more zombie flicks. Saun of the dead:Cricket paddle. Dawn of the Dead(Remake and original):Mall setting and chainsaw (which honestly I think everybody wanted even if it isn’t related to the remake). ZombieLand: Highway part of the second campaign. There is more, but right now I’m focused on the game not the references. The game now does have a story that you can follow so play the campaigns in correct order.

The zombies are now more smarter like they were suppose to be in the first game. They now flood in from every open spot in the game, but I did see a zombie spawn once and die…it was like the game aborted the zombie. :C
Anyway, the graphics have been improved and the game seems more fleshed out then the last one. DLC has even been annouced due to one of the campaign’s iconic rock band. There are even two new type of ammo. Incidinary and explosive. But both are a pain to set up, but nice because you open the box on the ground so both you and your friends can take some. The game has little fun achievements in it. Like in the campaign Dark Carnival there are two achievement that you can get by playing two carnival games. This adds more to the replay value for me.

There are three new zombie types. Charger, Spitter and Jockey each new and vile in every sense. The game has the ability to make a simply little horde a living hell for you. The AI director can now recognize player stress levels and add more tension to make it harder for you to play against twelve or twenty zombies with addition of the three new and old special zombie types. Another new addition is the two new in-game modes. Survival which was originally a DLC for the first game and Scavenge mode. The game has alot more guns to kill with and a new grenade. Boomer Bile. You can pick these up when you kill a hazmat suited zombie. These grenades can attract normal zombies unto whatever you throw it upon. So if you have the grenade and there’s a tank in your way, so theres no funner way to kill it with other than Boomer Bile. You can watch that said tank be torn apart by common zombies. And alot of them will attack so there’s no chance of the tank fighting against the lots of them. Also there are clown zombies, they’re funny in a dark sense of humor, also they might be a reference to ZombieLand.

Left 4 Dead 2 is just another great game that is hidden by oh so many other great games. I reviewed this game because I wanted to show that this isn’t just some other shooters out there, this game is a shooter that has Zombies, Gore and isn’t Fallout3 or Modern Warfare2. I should though Review Assassin’s Creed 2 and Modern Warfare 2, but out of the sequals that came out Left 4 Dead 2 takes the cake…for now. I might just do a Review of Assassin’s Creed 2 and Modern Warfare 2 just for the hell of it. But if your bored of listening to others talk about what prestige they are in COD or what does The Truth mean then play Left 4 Dead 2. Its a fun and exciting game to play. I give this game 4 1/2 decapitations out of 5.

Video of The Week. (blarh!)

Posted in dead folk, holidays, Movies, news, Old memories with tags , , , , on 10/14/2009 by Titus

This is the best damn opening for a movie ever! No like give me any movie opening and I’ll be a douche and put you down. Read my review of Zombieland.  For those who don’t know what band this is and what song it is the Band Metallica (fuck yeah) and the song is (obviously) For Whom the Bell Tolls off of the Ride the Lighting album. Now if your a reader of this blog and noticed that theres not that many video of the weeks then all I can tell you is that I get the case of the “fuck it’s” alot and just get lazy. But today I feel as if it’s my humanly duty to show this epic video. Go SEE ZOMBIELAND You wont regret it unless you have no balls…or no heart….or you just suck.

Zombieland Review! *spoilers!!*

Posted in dead folk, holidays, Movies, news, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on 10/12/2009 by Titus
epic

epic

Hello there zombie freaks alike! Im here bringing you this review, brought to you by F the FTC. No really they can go fuck themselves. This movie review has been long awaited and well deserved for this blog. I have been wanting to review this movie so badly that I nearly went into killing my neighbor who seen the movie twice, dick. Well I’ve been busy with school and lately the post have been mostly shit-tacular, yet with today’s review comes one of the greatest fuckin’ movies of all time. Zombieland! Let me start off with saying this Emma Stone is one fine fox, oh the things I could do to her, anyway back to the review.

Remember when you had all those thought about what you could do in a world full of zombies, fuck the seat belts, who needs to exercise, all the ammo you want, well things arent what you suspect. This movie will give you the rules that you need to survive in zombie. Safety is your friend. The movie will give you rules like buckle up, do alot of cardio; shit like that.

The movie straight off the bat is fun. At parts you will get a good scares. Zombieland has a grand friggen way telling all the main character’s back stories. The movie begins with Columbus (nickname) is traveling light (its one of his rules, trust me theres a shit load of rules that do apply to his survive and possibly yours aswell) after having a good run in at a gas n’ gulp with some zombies, he’s walking a highway and then he meets Tallahassee, a redneck with a missing ?Puppy” problem. Then soon team up and head east towards Columbus and Tallahassee.

Columbus is traveling to of course Columbus, Ohio. To see if his family is alright, he’s aloner so he doesnt have any friends before the whole zompocolypse.

Tallahassee is traveling to-well you get the idea, he’s searching for the world’s last twikee, because they might be the only thing that relieves him of the evil shitstorm of the world and they have an expiration date.

As they go into a supermarket together to look for a box of Twinkies they stumble upon two sister one being Emma Stone (Hawt) and the other being little miss sunshine. Little miss sunshine is little rock and Emma Stine plays as Wichita.

Little rock pretends to be bitten and so Wichita asks for the guns from both Columbus and Tallahassee, but soon betrays them, then go off with the only ride the guys had.

Later Columbus and Tallahassee find a hummer filled with guns. Then once again the duo fall for another trap made from the sisters. From this point on they stay a team and the sisters want to go to a theme park that they haven;t been to since they were little.

The movie has alot of ways of telling the stories of the characters. Tallahassee had a “puppy” that he loved bu when shit went down his “puppy” went missing. Columbus well like said hes a loser thats just trying to survive. Little Rock and Wichita are just trying to make it to that theme park and were on the run for a while before the zompocolypse happened.

The movie is a great mixture of comedy,horror and drama. The opening credits are just awesome. The song For Whom The Bell Tolls isnt what I expected, but hell its Metallica and its a great montage with zombies.

The back stories to the sisters and Columbus are funny and extended, but Tallahassee’s is just deep and has more to it.

The only problem I had with it was that I missed a few of the rules that pop up during the movie. And that the girls’ back story wasn’t really funny.

Now the really funny part is when they go to Bill Murray’s house. That entire part made me shit my pants laughing. I warn you Now. I will spoil this one part for you. When the group get to California they look for famous places to stay. Tallahassee goes right for Bill Murray’s mansion. Now right from the get go his house is full of his face, paintings and all. Little Rock asks who Bill Murray is, Tallahassee gets pissed and says that not knowing who Bill Murray is, is like not knowing who Gandhi is. Little rock then asks who Gandhi is? As everybody searches the house, Bill Murray acting like a zombie surprises Wichita and Tallahassee, Wichita hits Bill with a golf club then Bill Murray yells out in pain not like a zombie. Soon Bill, Tallahassee and Wichita bake together and pretend to fight ghosts together. They send Bill into the movie room to scare Columbus. Remember Columbus is a pussy and will shoot anything that scares him, guess who he shoots. Yup Bill Murray. The whole time Bill Murray is dying it’s funny as hell.

Well as the movie goes on you find out that Columbus gets the family he deserves and that Wichita’s real name is Crista. Even hawter!

They movie seemed short, but long in reality. The movie gave many quotes and many rules for survival. I honestly believe that this movie replaces one of my top ten favorites. If you want something funny and scary to go see then dont waste your time on some shit and go see Zombieland. I give this movie 5 zombie outbreaks out of 5….

“It’s Time to Nut up or Shut up.”-Tallahasse.

Top 10 superpowers.

Posted in Cartoons, comic, dead folk, Lectures, Movies, Old memories, Tv Shows, videogames with tags , , , , , , on 09/27/2009 by Titus

Man what I would do for to gain superpowers. The only problem is, they do tend to take horrible turns for the worst and awesome ways of making life way better. This is my top 10 list of superpowers.

10.Invincibility:

Warning: Major pansy right here.

Warning: Major pansy right here.

Yeah Awesome: Being Able to take a bullet to the head and then strangle the gunner with your hands does seem really badass. You can handle pressures that normal folk can’t handle gives you the right to say “stand back ma’am I can handle this”. You can walk into fires and walk out without a scratch. You can walk into a bar and win the fight with everybody in there. You can walk into the middle of a gang war and settle the whole fight with your fists. You can skip right into a war zone and save people. You are the best damn thing out there!

Oh shit, weakness: Sure your invincible and possibly unstoppable at the least. But you still are human on the inside. You can feel things, you can see the fear inside those who are afraid of you, you could kill somebody on accident and be sent to jail. You could try to rebel and be evil, but you have to sleep sometime or you can get tired given on your type of power. Like Superman it could be a type of item that can weaken you or like the Juggernaut where if your held still you can’t destroy everything in your path. Maybe the scientists can get your blood sample or silica to make an antidote to stop your unstoppable ass.

9.Immortality:

Great game. Great immortal

Great game. Great immortal

That’s what i thought. Yeah Awesome: You can move along the ages of the world without death’s cold grip on your soul. Your power over life is gracious. You can go to clubs and get drunk and not die of alcohol-poisoning, well unless you have the type of immortality that matter’s with whole age only and if you get shot in face you die motherfucker die type of immortality. Hitting on girls does take time to improve on, but hey you have your whole immortality to work on it. If you do have the type of immortality in which you can survive anything and live forever than possibilities are endless. You could walk into the ocean and discover crap that some normal folk can’t. You could be sent into space and witness things that would blow your mind. You are almost a god!

Oh shit, weakness: Not a day goes by in which you screw somebody and think to yourself. “Wow, Im a million years old and I still never got with that one babe in my math class.” or “Jeez, I never thought about having so many kids. They’re all dead by now.” Your life will be plauged with the death of those who have gotten close to you. Your life will be filled with oddities, but you will leave a mark in those of who you got with and they’d soon notice at their death bed’s that you’ve never changed, literally. You havn’t change since the day you two met. Sure you could actually go to the depths of the ocean and and go away into deep space, but your memory is forever, you can never forget. If your the only immortal then your alone in the world. Your going to be completely alone and sad, the worst part is. You can’t off yourself.

8.Invisibility:

Jim Hoffa had superpowers...

Look at the smug look on his face...oh wait.

Yeah Awesome: Ever had an embarrassing moment in which you just wanted to disappear? Remember that time that all your friends dared you to go into the chick’s locker room? Remember that time when you felt like being invisible? Well, would ya look at that you are invisible! Now remember invisibility comes with alot of responsibility, but you already knew that right…well whatever. Next time that kid starts to make fun of you, you can just get the jump on his blind ass, and by blind I mean you could possibly throw dirt or paint thinner into his eyes. it all depends on what visibility you have if it’s the kind that ensures that both you and your clothing is invisible then your all good. If it’s the kind where if your still wearing your clothes and you look like a god damn ghost, well that’s sort of a perk. I mean if you have the not-going-invisible-clothes invisibility then your going commando into the girl’s locker room.

Oh shit, weakness: Well besides the fact that your almost the master of assassins and spies you do have a few problems with your invisibility. The whole clothes not disappearing thing is not good considering that your still slighty visible. And with some account that you Do sneak into the girl’s locker room there’s a slight chance that when you do see the babes undress your “emotion” could make you visible which doesn’t really put you into a great situation. Think of all of the possibly ways of nobody finding you when your invisible. When crossing the street turns deadly. When getting into a car crash and being forever invisible and dead is pretty bad. When trying to get attention because your permittly invisible and you need help turning back. The list is almost endless.

7.Flight/Levitation:

FEAR ME YOU PRICKS!!

FEAR ME, YOU PRICKS!!

Yeah, awesome: Turn your life around by skipping class and flying through the skies as fast as you can go! Your ability can make you as free and an eagle. Your probably thinking on your next destination on which to travel to, whether it’s a nice beach or cool exotic location in the Caribbean, you dont know and you don’t care as long as you fly from point A to point B. You zoom past your school, job and the boring parts of life!

Oh shit, Weakness: Sure it’s loads of fun going through the air and almost breaking the sonic barrier and possibly rob a bank for money, but have it ever occurred to you that your movements are being watched. Now dont think that other freaks are watching you or aliens are watching you. Your flight patterns are monitored by the military. Your on the radar and the government might notice you as either an unauthorized craft or ufo. Knowing any countries government, they’ll see you as a threat. Either way you might be shot down. Im pretty sure that you can’t take on a stinger  missile head on.

6.Mind control:

"Now take off your clothes and call me The Dark one...oooh yeah."

"Now take off all your clothes and call me The Dark one."

Yeah, awesome: Your boss is a dick, a chode. He always busts your ball for no good reason. He had sex with your wife to prove something: That he’s better than you. One day you just sit there in your cubicle, twitting your thumbs. A thought pops in: I wish boss would staple he face to the desk and lights his balls on fire. Soon screams can be heard. You run to the source of the screams and surprise surprise What you thought just came true. Every little thing you think up about somebody they’ll do it. You start to move things around with your mind, weight lifting shit is easy when you can pick up a can of cola and then chuck it at a hobo. Then you’ll pick up that hobo and then chuck him at a little kid. Soon not only are you the boss of your own company, you able to create anything you can think of. Once again your almost a god!

Oh shit, Weakness: Sure you might be able to take on the world, but Im sure that with all this power your mind has been taking a toll on your whole mentality. One second your wife is in love with you then second her corpse is splattered against the side of the wall because she admitted that she cheated on you with the gardener. Skank. You can’t take it anymore, anybody that gets near you either turns into something weird like a chimpanzee that farts waffles or you turn their inards into the paint on the wall. There’s almost no way you can undo the evil things you did. Usually the government would step in and capture, dissect and experiment with your powerful brain. Hopefully you can use what power you have left and reverse time to the moment of your boss lighting his testicles on fire.

4. Shapeshift:

Ok, long story short, it's both a vampire and werewolf. Still can transform.

Ok, long story short, it's both a vampire and werewolf. Still can transform.

Yeah awesome: Transformation is badass. You want to be a tiger, your a tiger. You want to be a dragon, well dont start burning down the town. When you want to blend into a crowd all you need to do is become a different person. You are the master of disguise. Now once again there are many interpretations of shapeshifters. One is that you can only turn into a wolf…boring. Another is just animals. My favorite is everything. When you go hunting the deer wont know what fucking broke it’s neck and shot it in the brains. You could be another person and confuse them and everybody around them. Who,what,when,where and why is just what your a master at avoiding.

Oh shit, Weakness: Well after a few hundred persona changes your wondering on who the hell you might really be. i mean are you that guy who was just on the news for an alledged burglary? Or are you that girl who o.d’d on meth and you just turned into her to make her family happy again. You were somebody, but now your anybody. That and given that you do turn into somebody, that certain somebody might be on a hitlist or they might be up for a beatdown. Watch your back.

3.Mind Reading:

"So that's where they hide my remote, the brutes!"

"So that's where they hid my remote control for the tv, the swine!"

Yeah,awesome: Ok I could be a dick for doing this one because this sort of goes in the same catagory as mind control, but I see them both as two different things. Anyway, when having the ability to read minds your life changes. One second your talking to your best friend. You then read their mind to only find out that they hate your guts and think that your annoying as fuck. You soon read the minds of people who are hiding secrets. You can slmost predict on what people are up to. Your ability to read the thoughts of others can go into the possibility of digging deep into the sub-consions of your peers and then everything starts to pour into your head, everything you want to know about that person becomes clear. Soon you can see that even the most annoying person is really just a sad little ego energized prick. If your powers become more stronger maybe interrogation could just be a blink of the eye. Hopefully you dont fully invade another person’s mind, you might make their skull explode.

Oh shit, Weakness: Yeah going into people’s minds: fun. Discovering many dark secrets and other shit that’s not really great to see: Bad. The idea is great it’s just the reality is people are fucking crazy. People have very, very disturbing minds. Like I said, you read your friends mind and then you discover that they hate your fucking guts. That’s not great to know. There’s a slight possibility that you don’t read your friend’s mind and your read that crazy kid’s mind in the back. Your head will be full of horrid images and other things that are scary on many levels. And with the possibility of making a person’s skull explode or just giving them a really evil headache could be possible if your brain is really really strong with the whole mind reading. If not you may have a backfire with your plans.

2.Ultimate knowledge:

einstein

Oh yeah, Awesome: I hate tests dont you. I also hate my I.Q. at which I dont know what number level it is at currently. Wish you knew what your crush wants? Wish you had the right answer to what the cops were asking you? Simple if your a super genious. Your whole day would be simple with school and at your job. Teacher says that you’re wrong then just correct her up the ass. The boss askes you why you have been called into his office, you can just tell him the answer and tell him something very disturbing about his wife. You can be a one man scientific team. You can find the cure for cancer, diabetes and hiv all in one month. You can make Stephen Hawkins go crazy in his robo-chair. Space travel would be a scrrible away. You are the cure to mostly what’s wrong with our planet!

Oh shit, Weakness: With a great amount of knowledge of everything it seems that your too busy with saving the planet. Too busy to pay attention of your current condition, the condition is that your losing all of your humanity. Your becoming a Doctor Manhattan almost

Say that you met this really nice girl and you two hooked up because you knew what she loved and since you know everything you knew everything about her. Well you knew her, but she doesn’t know you anymore! You have a dark side of things. You know who is who and what they stand for and they’re whole entire life basically. When your done your job with this planet, man kind will discard you like a toy. Maybe if you could travel back in time with a time machine…

1.Possession:

Grrrr Not the toothpaste!

The usage of toothpaste must be denied in hell.

Yeah,awesome: Ok now you might be thinking that this doesn’t deserve be number one, well I have one thing to tell you. FUCK the  police. Nah just kidding I have a friend who’s a police officer, he’s not a pig like the other 95%. Anyway, hate living your life with everybody ridding your ass like a camel with a fat chick on your back? Well posse a person and go on a killing spree, exit the body and then reak some more hell. If your a good enough posseror then you will leave your body and control the person or object and if you die as that person you will return to your body alive. Being picked on by some guy then posses the dude, make him walk into on coming cars and then leave at the last moment. Like I said objects can be possesed as well. Can you say floating knife fight?

Oh shit, Weakness: Well if your possession consists of your body being turned into whatever you turn into your find, but most of the time. Your body is just a shell. When you lose that husk of yours then it’s freeball for your husk-ass. Plus you could lose the time to go into something then and the time when you go back to your body. if your astral projecting then that’s completely different. If your in the form of smoke you might disappear. If a liquid then you might evaporate. Yeah this is a double edged sword right here. And you could posse something that you may not want to possess and that object might be something that goes somewhere that’s not clean…

Notable Mentions: Teleportation. Phasing.

nightcrawler-1

Teleportation is something that can beat flying and super strength. I personally love this power, hallways would be simple to get through. My favorite superhereo Nightcrawler can teleport. And thanks to the whole supersede thing, he can’t get stuck in walls or people. Life would be simple if teleportation was real. The only problem is, what if you have some much on your mind that you go to the wrong place. From what I understand you have to concentrate on the exact spot that you have to teleport to. If not your going places. And what if you do teleport and accidentally teleport in somebody. Will you die or will that person explode like a paintball hitting a wall? It must be pretty tricky teleporting. Yet it’s a bad ass gift.

Somebody is gonaa get a bitchslap

Somebody is gonna get a bitchslap.

While phasing through things you can go through anything, anyone at anytime. Yes this is a great way of getting through lines quicker and possibly lookng for things more easily. Your almost like a ghost if you have that kind of power. Now all of that is wonderful, but what if you turn solid and somebody is in your way? What the hell would happen? it’s a once again what if kinda qeustion. Would you two fuse together or would you both painfully die? I don’t know and I think both outcomes would bad horribly bad. But running through people and ripping out thier organs does sound fun at the least.

Top 10 things wrong about animes.

Posted in Cartoons, comic, Lectures, Movies, news, Old memories, Tv Shows with tags , , , , , , , , on 09/06/2009 by Titus

Once again I found a way to make a list about crap. Here’s my list about the many things wrong with animes.

10. The smart/shadowy guy with glasses.

Look at him, thinks he's so cool, but he's really just a douche.

Look at him, thinks he's so cool, but he's really just a douche.

Why wrong: Give me one single anime show and I’ll point out the first asswipe who’s shadowy and smart and likes to think everybody as imbeciles, fools and the sorts. It can be annoying to watch one show to see it appear in another and another and another. It’s easy to identify this kinda guy, just wait until the second, third or fifth episode to notice this guy on top of the school roof, in a corner, in a shadow. Trust me when he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. I want jam those fuckin’ glasses down his throat. No homo.

9. Goofy/slutty girls.

[picture not available because Im not looking that shit up!]

Why wrong: Well I’ve seen enough animes in my lifetime to say this. Almost all the chicks in the cartoons either have big knockers, are silly or like the main character or the villain or some bug-eyed freak in the show. I understand that having a vagina in the show will effect the protagonist and antagonist, but isn’t it enough when the girl has big boobs and acts like a ten year old pumped full of sugar and has the strength of eight men. In reality chicks with big bazookas are hard to get and aren’t as nice as anime girls. To add another they usually have magically powers to heal people.

8.over-reacting to being denied something.

Alittle bitch right here.

"Umm sir can you please calm down. I do love my life. Alot."

Why wrong: Say that if a anime person asks for a cookie and the person says no. You’ll get a person who will look something like the dude above. And by chance he will have powers that will obliterate an entire city. When somebody denies me a cookie I do ask why and not break his neck while asking. If the person says that I dont deserve one then hey who am I to say that I do, karma. While in japan they do deserve the cookie and kill that person and a couple hundred pedestrians just for the cookie.

7.Mecha mecha mecha!

Hahaha this is real hahaha Im laughing because one day it'll be able to work hahahaha

Hahaha this is real hahaha Im laughing because one day it'll be able .to work hahahaha we're fucked,

Why wrong: Japan is famous for alot of things giant monsters and robots  being two of those thousands famous things. I dunno why I put this here because theres a few shows that I like that have giant robots kicking each others asses, but there’s a limit to how many shows should have giant robots. American cartoons do have a few giant robots here and there but not like Japanese cartoons and if it’s not giant robots it giant monsters or animals.

6.Spirit animals/creatures.

The spirit is in the toy...

The spirit is in the toy...

Why wrong: Much like everything else on the list anime characters can also be powered by a spirit or animal essence. Like a tiger or more beloved dragon. They then gain the powers of the elements or whatever the power the monster or animal had. If somebody had the power of a dog and is able to run full speed, Id capture the kid (which it usually is a kid who has  the power) then dissect the kid or torture the kid to harness the power. Evil? Nope.

5.Kids with powers.

While having powers your hair grows for some awesome reason.

While having powers your hair grows for some awesome reason.

Why Wrong: Give a kid a knife. Somebody is about to be either stabbed, threatened or nothing at all. In anime the kids learn to control or not control their power. If they can control their power they are confronted with people who are extremely evil-er and powerful then the kid and at the end of season the kid beats the villain and gains greatness. For the ones where they can’t control their power they are faced with samurais or some person with powers who are up to the task of teaching the kid to handle the powers. If I had super powers and invincibility then our soldiers would be home right now and I’d drop out of school.

4.Cosplayers.

Like I said giant robots...everywhere.

Like I said giant robots...everywhere.

Why wrong: Holy shit are you kidding me. Watch comic-con or better yet Go to comic-con and look for a group of cosplayers that dress up as anime characters. Japan is sorta filled to the brim with these people. If you see a villain in a videogame from japan, odds are you will see them hanging out with their enemies. Let’s say there was a holy-con where people dressed up like people from the bible. You might see Satan and god drinking a slurpy while talking about the families they once had. And it’s just stupidly scary on how many kids in America dress up like some anime characters. I know people the know people who do dress up, I try to keep my distance

3.over usage of crying.

[picture not here because it’s too sad]

Why wrong: Everybody cries, even the toughest G.I. hey that rhymed. Anyway, in anime you will find out that if you yell at somebody they will either explode with a kamehameha or explode into tears. Chicks cry, but guys will cry because a chicks crying and the giant monster is dead or captured by the evil fucking government. There’s really not much here to say. I mean if your crying your either depressed to hell or your an emo. Maybe both.

2.Perverted old men.

Fuckin' panda with your sign that I can't read.

Fuckin' panda with your sign that I can't read.

Why wrong: If anime has tought me one thing it’s that all old men are perverts that want some of the stuff girls have concealed. Yes, they want to bone a girl. Not steal they’re guns or superpowers. It must be something that alot of old Japanese guys have in common in Japan. I guess they like to look up girl’s skirts, try to rape them or just watch alot of porn. Dirty old men must be most of the Japanese population or something because they’re in alot of animes. Well we got one and he’s in family guy!

1.Gallons of blood.

She's okay, she just lost some blood thats all.

She's okay, she just lost some blood that's all.

Why wrong: If you watch a violent anime you will notice that a person can take a cannon or sword to the stomach and walk away while singing I’m walking on sunshine. An anime character can lose up to 90.9% of blood and still fight on. In reality when we reach about 40-60% of blood lose we give the fuck up. If you shove a 5 foot wide and 19 foot long spear through an anime character they will gasp, fall down minutes later wake up stumble, fall down wake up with a bandages around the wound and continue fighting demon-monster-ghost-aliens. If you can lose that much blood and do all of that above then your either superhuman, wolverine,but more of a pussy or your an anime character. The damages anime characters can take are just ridiculous. Most of the time they’re bodies are either super powered or spiritual powered. Fucking anime, your wronger than Micheal Jackson Rising from the grave again.

Notable Mentioned:Endless seasons after endless seasons!! Now when there’s a show that’ helps gather the fan base’s money in merch. then that’s awesome, but after it hits it’s 5th season and the story is still as it was in the begining then just give up. But wait the guys who get the money think “Well lets just make it last a little longer I mean hopefully they will give us another season.” Which in reality they usually will because hey who doesn’t like money?

District 9 review *Spoilers. You have been Warned.*

Posted in Movies, news with tags , , , on 08/17/2009 by Titus
We not alone anymore...

We not alone anymore...

Today I watched the long awaited movie District 9. At first glance at the movie you may think that it’s a documentary about a ongoing war in Africa, up til the part where you see an alien-crustacean person being interrogated or the Giant alien space ship over the city of Johannesburg. The story is something that I’ve seen before, but it’s almost entirely new way of story telling. The entire movie looking like a Documentary that follows MNU and a newly promoted employee Wilkus Van De Merwe, but the recording stops when Wilkus goes home. Wilkus is Married to his bosses daughter Tania. When asked about Wilkus his wife says that he is a kind man and would never betray anybody, he’s a sweetheart. And during his interview you can tell that Wilkus is a nice and goofy kind of guy. While on his job to get some of the prawn to sign a paper for their evictions to District 10 things go crazy. You will see the living habits of the Prawn; the aliens. The inhabitants that live around District 9 are becoming tired and aggravated about the aliens and you will see from news bulletins and clips that a war almost started. But a gang takes the aliens for fools and use them as ways to get money and a way to get weapons. That and human prostitution (yeah the gang sells women are whores for the Prawn…what the fuck?).

As we follow Wilkus on his job we meet Christopher, a Prawn scientist or engineer. Christopher, his son and his buddy are rummaging through garbage when the stumble upon a container of sorts and it contains “The Fluid” which is both a mutagen and fuel for the hidden Control Module. Then you get a chance to see some cool alien lab made by everyday appliance. Right when Christopher places the fluid in a sliver canister Wilkus interrupts Christopher and company, so Christopher asks his bud to hide “The Fluid” some where. That some where being a dilapidated toolbox. When Christopher tells his bud to answer the door and be polite. When the prawn answers the door and is asked to sign a paper agreeing that he’s going with the eviction an to be sent to District 10. Wilkus then goes inside the house and starts to go through everything, then he finds the silver canister and gets sprayed with the fluid. He wipes it off then goes around the hous to find alot of alien weapons which is when Christopher’s bud goes apeshit and throws Wilkus which breaks his arm and his sercurity guard into the side of the house. Then a miliatry “cowboy” (which Wilkus says when he’s promoted) comes over and ends Christopher’s friend’s life with a bullet. Wilkus gets back on his feet by a trainee that was with him.

As the movie goes on you’ll see Wilkus becomes sick and passes out at his house during his promotion party. While in a hospital the cast comes off Wilkus’s arm and his hand is like those of the Prawn. Soon his apprehended by MNU and is tested on by them. The alien weapons can only be used by the aliens because of thier genetic code and since Wilkus’s genes are changing, he is used to shoot the weapons and all targets are pigs, but the last one is a Prawn. He escapes by breaking free of his restrains before his heart was cut out. Then the movie begins to become more gorey and awesome.

When I was watching the movie I really got into it and every character that you encounter is just so lively and you feel like these are really people and they are alive. The way the characters were made were magnificent. Wilkus did seem like a lovable character and so did all of the Prawn. The CG was spectacular and something that not many movies can replicate. The location and build up of the story was great and the jokes are funny. There’s a part where Wilkus is in a Bio-suit and and uses his gravity gun to pick up a pig and shoots it at solider. The movie is just beautiful and it’s like many of Peter Jackson films, it’s wonderful and Neil Blomkamp’s original film that was the precursor to District 9; Alive in Joburg.

I have to say the whole movie is a masterpeice that only happens once in a few years. If your not going into the movie with an open mind then I guess you can’t really feel the greatness of the movie. I went in with an open mind and thought of the possibilies that came with the movie and the movie didn’t fail me. Infact I think this movie might be my number one movie replacement. The hype for this movie is far from what past movies have done, look around some cities and you’ll see posters stating that if your non-human then GTFO, theres a website and even a telephone number that you can call. If you hate alien movies then yeah dont see this movie. But if you want to see something out of the ordinary and better than everything else in theaters then deffinitaly see District 9. I give District 9: 5 zoidburgs out of 5.