Top ten horror movies.

Every day we use quotes from movies. No matter what genre, but on one special holiday, men, women,  child and shit even animals get dressed up as my one favorite genre movie characters. Horror movies are really great, shit I basically thrive off them. I will  be counting trilogies and sagas in this list. Here’s my list on the top horror movies.

10. Alien trilogy (not counting resurrection).

In 1979 director Ridley Scott introduced the world to anew type of alien. A parasite that facial rapes you then leaves an egg in your chest and when time comes for it to hatch it has one hellva entrance

When I was little this movie scared the living shit out of me. I couldn’t go to bed without the thought of the facehugger raping my face and then my chest exploding from a little monster. Well after I got over the whole “Im scared shitless about alien” and got the balls to see the sequels I noticed something. The alien from the first movie was sort of a “special” alien….It was a retarded alien. I mean come on it didn’t pull off the shit like the ones from the other movies, like running on walls, using it’s tail more and well being more sneaky. This movie is a must see for anybody looking for something cool to watch. The movie was great back in then and is a classic scifi-horror movie now.

9. John Carpenter’s The Thing.

Once again I when I watched this movie as a kid I was paranoid. Like almost every kid, their imagination is wild, mine was how can you say? Batshit crazy? I thought that my parents were the Thing and were trying to get me infected with the thing with feeding me foods I hated. Well now that’s all over with I can trust them now…or can I?

Anyways, in 1982 master of horror John Carpenter decided to do a remake of a classic with the same name, The thing from outter space. Both stories are alike in some ways. In the original, the alien was a vegetable-like creature and fed off of blood and hated fires, it had a mad genius who wanted to do something with the alien and it never mimicked other worldly creatures and people. In the remake it infected many just by touching them, no evil scientist even though a scientist does go apeshit and try to kill everybody, can transform into the aliens that it adsorbed or devoured and Hated fire

You see that shit. That dude freaked the fuck out. The alien enjoys the cold, but it would suck if the movie took place in Hawaii. The Arctic was a great place to based the movie on, which the book was based on. Once again we have that famous formula; Book->Movie->Remake. I haven’t read the book yet, but I can’t wait to get my hands on it. The movie still scares me. The animatronics are wonderfully scary and if you have enough time to watch the entire behind the scenes featurette then you will learn the dangers they went through to make this movie. When you want something to really get under your skin then watch John Carpenter’s The Thing in the winter…when it’s actually cold out, it feeds to the atmosphere.

8.Feast.

This movie is just….Feast is a movie that…..I just- I don’t know how this got on the list I really don’t. I have many words for movies, but this movie is just- I can’t stress this enough, but if you watch this movie you won’t look at life the same anymore. After I watched this movie I just couldn’t help but think about how fucked up Matt Damon, Ben Afleck, Wes Craven or the other guy who made this movie. The trailer wasn’t even close to making out what was in this movie

I’ve seen many disturbing things in my life, but this movie brings a new meaning to facial rape, vomit, maggots, rotting people and other fucked up shit. I couldn’t think straight for a month, no really my mind was just stuck on what I just watched almost 30 days ago.

I heard that there’s three sequels out already, as badly as I dont want to, something in my stomach says that I need to watch the sequels. This is one of those movies were you just need to be freaked out and you have nothing better to do. But in honesty, watch this movie just for the hell of it. Sure after watching it you might look at me in a different set of mind, but you know that it was worth it…in some sick way.

7.George A. Romero’s Day Of The Dead.

When it comes to zombies nobody can top it like George Romero. He started the whole zombie movie. Before him zombies were only humans hypnotized and were voodoo induced people. Sure White Zombie gave Rob Zombie a name for a band and made Bela Lugosi a better name in the horror genre, but those zombies weren’t the zombies that are famous today.

George Romero started the series off with Night of the Living Dead and as it progressed it got better over time. When Day of the Dead came out it showed a new, smarter zombie. And what has happened to the world after the zompocolypse. This movie has many famous parts. Most famously the death of Captain Rhodes

The beginning scene of the movie is very eerie and scares me. The music and feeling that the movie portrays is very lonely and it really feels like your all alone in the world and the zombies are out to get you. Romero’s zombie movies have stopped at Diary Of the Dead, a movie that is short of scares and tries to rip off of the CloverField style, you know the whole camera shot. Yet many say that Diary is just another beginning for the zombies and that Land of the Dead is the true future of the living dead. Yet George Romero isn’t entirely fond about his zombie movies, that’s all that he’s famous for, but he wants many to notice his other works of art. Like…

6.Creepshow.

Directed by George A. Romero and written by Stephen King. Creepshow is a movie that is inspired by the Tales From the Crypt comics. The movie is divide into about six separate stories that are all sorts of horror. There’s tons of appearances from many famous actors. Leslie Nelson from Airplane! Stephen King plays a comically dimwitted farmer who has the misfortune of discovering a meteor. The movie is darkly funny and has many parts that are scary and disgusting. Wait! Did I just mention the magical word about this movie? Aw yes disgusting

This movie does not lack anything that wouldn’t make it a horror movie. I has everything from a huge monster that kills a mans bitchy wife to a person being killed by bugs. If your a fan of Stephen King and/or George Romero then you have to pick this movie up sometime. There are two sequels that arn’t worth watching and a new online series is beginning.

5.Dead Alive (Brain Dead).

In the begging of Peter Jackson’s career he had some miss and hits, but hits like Dead Alive. The movie is a gore-fest of gore. It’s fucked up in so many ways that some of the shit you see will either make you puke or make you cringe at the sight of it. The first time I watched this movie I was pretty small so I didn’t remember much, but when my friend picked it up on dvd I know why I couldn’t remember it, my mind was protecting me from all of the gore and horror that is this movie. When I say horror I mean it in a good way.

This movie has one of the most memorable scenes in zombie death scene history.

Now these zombies are voodoo zombies yet they have some of the traits of virus zombies. The curse came from Skull Island (Jackson couldn’t resist) and an evil Sumatran monkey-rat;who origins are pretty fucked up by itself (Rats from a slave ship came to the island and raped the monkeys of the island). Linoel’s mother get bitten by the monkey-rat mindfuck and then the madness begins. The movie is so messed up that two zombies fuck and have a baby. It’s so fucked up that I have to show a video of the baby

4.Return of the Living Dead.

This movie has nothing to do with George Romero. I repeat This movie has nothing to do with George Romero’s zombie flicks. The movie only has  a reference to it. This movie is in a league of it’s own. The movie is just really damn good and does not hold back on whatever point it’s trying to make. The movie begins when a gas canister breaks and brings back a body inside of it and everything that once lived, inside the warehouse. They burn an infected body since these zombies can’t be killed since they’re already dead and eat brains to kill the pain of being dead.

The movie sets up the stereotype for zombies that they only want brains and not like the regular zombies that only want flesh. These zombies think and talk. Infact there’s this one zombie that has grown to be pretty big and i can’t blame his fans

I can’t stop watching this movie because it’s just so damn good and different from the rest of the flock. The movie has a naked metal/punk chick dancing in a cemetery and then later she kills a hobo because she becomes a zombie (scary one at that). Now this movie has about four or five sequels that are just utter shit. This is the movie that you need to watch.

3. It’s Alive.

When a horror movie comes out there two things that can happen, either it’s a blockbuster hit that does scare people or it’s a controversial movie that doesn’t scare anybody and makes shit for money. Well It’s Alive should have some controversy for the monster bit. The monster is a baby. That right when mrs.Davis gives birth to her baby she soon finds out that it’s a murderous little beast. The baby is a frightening sight to see. This movie makes you see little cute babies as little monsters.

I remember seeing this movie and being scared of the baby, infact I still am. It’s a spooky sight. It’s like a baby, but in a sense it’s a not of this world

It’s strange that the baby could get around and kill so many people without being caught or seen. Also the cops enjoy shooting the shit out of it, but of course they miss the target. The baby is a mutant radioactive monster, so this means the movie is a most definitely a b-movie. It has two more sequels which arn’t really something you would want to want to watch at all. Watch it, but dont watch it…alone!

2.28 Days Later.

Back when Danny Boyle actually made good movies he had given the world a purpose to fear the new breed of infectious zombies. In 28 day later the zombies dont shamble around and moan they’re more animal-like and arn’t slow. They can infect you the traditional way of either biting or scratching, but if any of their blood gets in your eye, wound or any opening to your insides you can become infected.

In a series of events the infection is released when…are ready for this…when a bunch of animal conversationalists try to free a monkey that’s infected with the “rage” virus. The monkey then infects one of the hippies (beats getting shit flung into your face), then the infected hippie attacks everybody in the room, even the scientist that warns them about the monkey, smooth move dipshit. The trailer is badass by itself

The movie is bloody good and it has it’s moments where shit puts you on the edge of your seat and have you white knuckle tight. The movie has it’s share of fan-dom. There’s even a graphic novel that finishes up the movie and it’s sequel.

1.House of 1000 Corpses.

Rob Zombie. Rob Zombie has got to be one of the greatest directors amongst this generation. House of 1000 corpses is just fucking lovely, and I love me some gore and violence. Sid Haig, Sheri Moon Zombie, Bill Mosely and my favorite Walter Phelan. The movie revolves around four people who trying to survive the Firefly Family. One of the most fucked up families around. Like rednecks can’t compare to how crazy they are.

Now with horror aside…this is one hellva funny movie. In order to enjoy a horror movie you have to have a great sense of humor both dark and light. Capetian Spaulding (being played by Sid Haig) has got to be one of the most twisted and funniest clowns I have ever seen. And the evil fucking Clown from It isn’t scare he’s just stupid looking. Captian Spaulding has that feeling like he could have been real or atleast a clown out there could have been this crazy. The beginning of the movie is just awesome

I suggest that you watch this movie right now! If that beginning part didn’t get you into the movie then you can just go to hell because that was the best damn before-credit-scene ever. Well not ever because Zombieland has that title.

Top 10 things wrong about animes.

Once again I found a way to make a list about crap. Here’s my list about the many things wrong with animes.

10. The smart/shadowy guy with glasses.

Look at him, thinks he's so cool, but he's really just a douche.

Why wrong: Give me one single anime show and I’ll point out the first asswipe who’s shadowy and smart and likes to think everybody as imbeciles, fools and the sorts. It can be annoying to watch one show to see it appear in another and another and another. It’s easy to identify this kinda guy, just wait until the second, third or fifth episode to notice this guy on top of the school roof, in a corner, in a shadow. Trust me when he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. I want jam those fuckin’ glasses down his throat. No homo.

9. Goofy/slutty girls.

[picture not available because Im not looking that shit up!]

Why wrong: Well I’ve seen enough animes in my lifetime to say this. Almost all the chicks in the cartoons either have big knockers, are silly or like the main character or the villain or some bug-eyed freak in the show. I understand that having a vagina in the show will effect the protagonist and antagonist, but isn’t it enough when the girl has big boobs and acts like a ten year old pumped full of sugar and has the strength of eight men. In reality chicks with big bazookas are hard to get and aren’t as nice as anime girls. To add another they usually have magically powers to heal people.

8.over-reacting to being denied something.

"Umm sir can you please calm down. I do love my life. Alot."

Why wrong: Say that if a anime person asks for a cookie and the person says no. You’ll get a person who will look something like the dude above. And by chance he will have powers that will obliterate an entire city. When somebody denies me a cookie I do ask why and not break his neck while asking. If the person says that I dont deserve one then hey who am I to say that I do, karma. While in japan they do deserve the cookie and kill that person and a couple hundred pedestrians just for the cookie.

7.Mecha mecha mecha!

Hahaha this is real hahaha Im laughing because one day it'll be able .to work hahahaha we're fucked,

Why wrong: Japan is famous for alot of things giant monsters and robots  being two of those thousands famous things. I dunno why I put this here because theres a few shows that I like that have giant robots kicking each others asses, but there’s a limit to how many shows should have giant robots. American cartoons do have a few giant robots here and there but not like Japanese cartoons and if it’s not giant robots it giant monsters or animals.

6.Spirit animals/creatures.

The spirit is in the toy...

Why wrong: Much like everything else on the list anime characters can also be powered by a spirit or animal essence. Like a tiger or more beloved dragon. They then gain the powers of the elements or whatever the power the monster or animal had. If somebody had the power of a dog and is able to run full speed, Id capture the kid (which it usually is a kid who has  the power) then dissect the kid or torture the kid to harness the power. Evil? Nope.

5.Kids with powers.

While having powers your hair grows for some awesome reason.

Why Wrong: Give a kid a knife. Somebody is about to be either stabbed, threatened or nothing at all. In anime the kids learn to control or not control their power. If they can control their power they are confronted with people who are extremely evil-er and powerful then the kid and at the end of season the kid beats the villain and gains greatness. For the ones where they can’t control their power they are faced with samurais or some person with powers who are up to the task of teaching the kid to handle the powers. If I had super powers and invincibility then our soldiers would be home right now and I’d drop out of school.

4.Cosplayers.

Like I said giant robots...everywhere.

Why wrong: Holy shit are you kidding me. Watch comic-con or better yet Go to comic-con and look for a group of cosplayers that dress up as anime characters. Japan is sorta filled to the brim with these people. If you see a villain in a videogame from japan, odds are you will see them hanging out with their enemies. Let’s say there was a holy-con where people dressed up like people from the bible. You might see Satan and god drinking a slurpy while talking about the families they once had. And it’s just stupidly scary on how many kids in America dress up like some anime characters. I know people the know people who do dress up, I try to keep my distance

3.over usage of crying.

[picture not here because it’s too sad]

Why wrong: Everybody cries, even the toughest G.I. hey that rhymed. Anyway, in anime you will find out that if you yell at somebody they will either explode with a kamehameha or explode into tears. Chicks cry, but guys will cry because a chicks crying and the giant monster is dead or captured by the evil fucking government. There’s really not much here to say. I mean if your crying your either depressed to hell or your an emo. Maybe both.

2.Perverted old men.

Fuckin' panda with your sign that I can't read.

Why wrong: If anime has tought me one thing it’s that all old men are perverts that want some of the stuff girls have concealed. Yes, they want to bone a girl. Not steal they’re guns or superpowers. It must be something that alot of old Japanese guys have in common in Japan. I guess they like to look up girl’s skirts, try to rape them or just watch alot of porn. Dirty old men must be most of the Japanese population or something because they’re in alot of animes. Well we got one and he’s in family guy!

1.Gallons of blood.

She's okay, she just lost some blood that's all.

Why wrong: If you watch a violent anime you will notice that a person can take a cannon or sword to the stomach and walk away while singing I’m walking on sunshine. An anime character can lose up to 90.9% of blood and still fight on. In reality when we reach about 40-60% of blood lose we give the fuck up. If you shove a 5 foot wide and 19 foot long spear through an anime character they will gasp, fall down minutes later wake up stumble, fall down wake up with a bandages around the wound and continue fighting demon-monster-ghost-aliens. If you can lose that much blood and do all of that above then your either superhuman, wolverine,but more of a pussy or your an anime character. The damages anime characters can take are just ridiculous. Most of the time they’re bodies are either super powered or spiritual powered. Fucking anime, your wronger than Micheal Jackson Rising from the grave again.

Notable Mentioned:Endless seasons after endless seasons!! Now when there’s a show that’ helps gather the fan base’s money in merch. then that’s awesome, but after it hits it’s 5th season and the story is still as it was in the begining then just give up. But wait the guys who get the money think “Well lets just make it last a little longer I mean hopefully they will give us another season.” Which in reality they usually will because hey who doesn’t like money?